Making a good First Impression

30 seconds. That’s typically how long it takes for her to form an impression about you. I recently wrote about getting suited up for a date – but even if you are dressed for the occasion, what can be done in the first 30 seconds of meeting that will impress her?

Rapport – A close and harmonious relationship in which the people or groups concerned understand each other’s feelings or ideas and communicate well.

The concept of building rapport, defined above, is a crucial element to making a good first impression. Some people say that mirroring another person’s breathing, voice tone and body language while talking to them is an engaging way to build rapport quickly, while others say that repeating what the person has just told you in an approving manner is also a fast rapport-builder. I can both agree and disagree with these notions, but theory aside, it’s the practical approach that counts.

The first thing to be aware of, is that if you don’t make her laugh within your “allocated timeframe”, you can forget about her. Laughing comes from happiness, and happiness is caused by endorphins – the bodily chemical that gives you that warm, happy feeling. If you can get her to associate that same feeling with the event of meeting you in person, then you’re already on the right path. How do you make this happen? Make her laugh. If you can make her genuinely laugh within 30 seconds, you’re well on your way to making a good first impression.

Eye contact is very important. If you don’t meet her gaze right from the start, you’re subconsciously making yourself the weaker creature, thus making yourself powerless (click here to read about powerless males).  Be sure to keep eye contact, while listening and responding to what she’s telling you. Maintaining positive body language is another biggie. Think about the body language you portray when relaxing with friends in a comfortable environment – what is your posture like? Are your arms folded? Are you facing the speaker in the group? Using this same, relaxed body language while talking to a girl you’ve just met will definitely count in your favour. Believe it or not, girls are incredibly receptive to how a guy holds himself during those first few seconds of meeting. If you’re looking and feeling relaxed, she will feed off that same energy and match that same relaxed state that you’re portraying.

Be mysterious. After making her laugh, only tell her what she needs to hear to make her want to see more of you. When the initial “buzz” of a positive first-time conversation is starting to run thin, excuse yourself and keep her guessing. Be spontaneous. Never outstay your welcome, and always leave her wanting more.

Written by Justin Williams for citylifer.co.za