Ace-ing the first date
Any venue that you suggest to her will be telling a little bit about yourself. McDonalds (She’s thinking “Cheapskate!” or “This aint going anywhere”), Picnic outdoors (She’s thinking “easy tiger, it’s only the first date!”), Cinema (She’s thinking “Bad choice for a first date, dummy. No, I’m not going to hold your hand…what, are you fourteen?”) and the list goes on…
Conversation is a biggie. Too many guys crash and burn in this department – they are usually the architects of their own demise. I’ll often cast an ear out to a dating couple sitting nearby while I’m out eating at a restaurant, and often I cringe. I’ll usually hear the male telling the girl about his professional career, how he got wasted at a party or how he dreams to settle down in suburban house, with a wife, two kids and a dog named Sally. Cringe. Do not try to tell her that you’re something you’re not. If you lie and deceive during your first date, there’s a very good chance those same lies will rear their ugly head further down the line and you will be exposed for the liar you are. Let her do the majority of the talking during the date. To put it bluntly, the more you speak, the more you are likely to say something that will curb her interest level in her. Rather adapt a listening approach, by asking her questions about herself – nothing too deep though!
The last thing you want is for her to breakdown and confess to you how she’s still hurting over her ex-boyfriend who left her and how she cant sleep at night. Listen to her carefully, ask her well-placed questions and open her up more. Remember, communication does not only
consist of the verbal aspects, her body language and tone can play a huge part in your conversation with her. When it is your turn to speak, be light & humourous. One of my favourite authors, David D’Angelo, writes about the “Cocky & Funny” approach, which I find is not too far from where you should be aiming in terms of attitude on the first date. Funny – she will be giggling thus creating positibe vibes, Cocky – you wont come across as needy and as a wuss.
Front the bill on the first date. I’m not going to go into depth on this one, just do it. I will add that it’s only polite, right? YOU asked her out, YOU chose the place, and now you want her to pay half of the bill? Right.
Do not expect anything sexual on the first date. You’ll be setting yourself up for failure if all you were thinking about at dinner was how good she’ll look in her sky blue La Sensa lingerie. Clean your mind on the first date. Sorry champ, but chances are that you’ll be lucky to get away with a kiss, let alone anything further. Girls are generally afraid to “go the distance” on the first date due to the fact that if any of her friends/enemies find out, they’ll think less of her and probably label her as easy/slutty, etc. If you do happen to kiss, remember to make her want MORE. Dont overdo it – there’s plenty of time for that.
“If you go in too quickly, you’ll leave very quickly” – David D’Angelo.
Written by Justin Williams for citylifer.co.za
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