What men want in women

Do men confuse you? Men date bitches, guys don't talk to you, and they all seem to want sex. Guys are confusing. The male species is...

Do men confuse you? Men date bitches, guys don't talk to you, and they all seem to want sex. Guys are confusing. The male species is nonsense from a female perspective.

There's your first barrier that stops you from figuring out what men want in women when dating and in relationships. As long as you try to figure out men through your womanly experiences and understandings, you'll forever remain confused.

Men differ from women. Before you give me a Nobel Prize for that remarkable statement, understand that women tend to operate from their limiting beliefs in dating and relationships. They apply their reality of chemistry and connection to a man's reality, forgetting a male's emotional psychology is completely different to their own.

If you cook, clean, and shop for a man in hope he likes you, you'll be ineffective at triggering attraction and other important responses men want to feel around women. You wouldn't feel attracted to a guy who only sat around watching football drinking beer so don't become the female equivalent.

To figure out what men want in women, put aside your preconceived notions about dating and relationships then listen. Men will also benefit from reading this article because it helps you, if you're a guy, better understand your desires so you can build better relationships and attract quality women.

Men Want Only Sex

Too many women believe the only thing a man wants in a woman is sex. Men want so much more. Remember what I said earlier about judging from your experiences and perspective?

A man may only desire sex from you because you focus on physical qualities. When your attractiveness depends on dressing sexy for him and sexual comments, you're seen as a friend with benefits. You invoke a caveman response from him. This satisfies some women some of the time, but you might want more.

"Physical attraction is just one part!"

Many men (or should I say boys?) have yet to evolve on an emotional level. They seek only physical attraction because their emotions are blocked. They don't know how to connect at an emotional level. Imagine putting on a pair of green glasses. It doesn't matter what colours exist, everything is seen green. A person's lack of emotional development blinds him from that level of awareness.

As confusing as it is to women who project their own qualities onto men, physical involvement is unequal to a relationship. A man can be physically involved with a woman and want nothing more. I believe this is what forms the belief that men only want sex. The problem with this belief is it overlooks other areas of attraction men want in women. Physical attraction is simply one part of an intimate relationship.

Nearly all men ultimately want a fulfilling relationship with one woman. A guy may not want this now or in the near future, but ultimately that is what he desires. If he says otherwise, he is usually emotionally immature or yet to meet a great woman.

The Secret is Attraction

Every man wants to feel significant, important, desired, and sexy. There's a broad array of characteristics great men want in women that lead to one experience. The secret feeling a man wants to have around you is one of attraction.

You may think of attraction as "chemistry". It's the energetic charge between two people that evokes an animalistic urge. When you become what men want in women, men feel attracted to you.

Attraction can be temporary, but when you understand its principles and continually refine them (by re-reading this article and purchasing books on the subject), you make attraction long-term that leads to commitment and a satisfying relationship!

You probably know a few women who seem to effortlessly pull men towards them. They easily attract men through their looks or personality. These women understand attraction, even though they probably didn't learn it from a source like this article.

Three Types of Attraction

Men can be attracted to you in three primary areas. We crave for all three in a partner.

As I mentioned earlier, there is physical attraction. Men are turned on more than women by visuals. It's important to dress well, get your hair beautiful, be slightly tanned, show off your figure, and exercise.

Are you not that beautiful? You can still improve it by learning from other women. You may also have an advantage over attractive women!

"Feeling insecure about your looks is a bigger turn off than looks itself."

Beautiful women tend to identify with their looks and become insecure. Feeling insecure about your looks is a bigger turn off than looks itself. Attractive women, in general, go through life easier than less attractive women so they have yet to develop the two other areas of attraction that lead to satisfying relationships

Guys tend to want women who are attractive, but lack personality, for the short-term. You cannot have a relationship with a body part. Looks is only one piece of the attraction puzzle.

The second type of attraction is intellectual. Intellectual attraction comes from more rational, logical means controllable through words and actions. Think of the bimbo blonde who has a peanut for her brain - that's the opposite to an intellectually attractive woman. It's a pain to live with someone unintelligent. An attractive man wants a woman who holds a conversation with almost anyone, talks about his interests, regularly reads books, and teaches him valuable lessons.

Get Out of Your Head

It's good to have a normal conversation with a man, analyze what's going on, and work from there. The number one mistake woman make with men, however, is they engage their logical mind too much. You cannot reason someone into attraction. You cannot bore someone into loving you. Attraction is unconsciously experienced, not decided.

Get out of your head thinking about the right things to say and do based on his responses. Stop critiquing every behaviour of his because over-analysis makes you insecure - the last thing a man wants in a woman. Is he looking at you instead of approaching you? He may be interested, but just nervous. Is he not calling you? He may of had a tiring day at work.

Analysis is paralysis. It makes you act out insecure thinking as you become clingy and ask needy questions. Men go crazy by a woman's search for meaning in an interaction. It is what leads to the dreaded word all men hate: drama.

"Attraction is unconsciously experienced, not decided."

Men don't want to instantly connect with you at a deep emotional level - not yet anyway. A guy wants to chill and enjoy whatever occurs in the moment. Men usually want to spend time with a woman doing fun activities. To a woman, a great date is filled with deep conversation. To a man, a great date can be racing go karts where few words are exchanged!

Rarely will you hear a man talk about emotional fulfilment. You don't hear guys sitting around drinking a beer discussing emotional contentment in their relationship with a woman. What you will hear, however, whether it be through verbal or nonverbal communication, is his emotional state around a woman. If she is what he wants, he'll tell his mates, "She's cool." Whether his feelings around her are pleasurable or not determines if he remains with the woman.

Does this frustrate you? If it does, you are still trying to understand men from a female point of view. Gender differences does not make you more right than the opposite sex. Expecting another person to mirror your wants signals emotional immaturity. Being angry at someone for having wants different to you further displays immaturity. Do not wish either gender were a certain way. Hear the truth about what men what in women.

The Freedom-Attention Dilemma - A Catch-22?

Men joke around when their friend has a woman who takes away his freedom. He is tied to a leash. She has his balls in her bag.

"...a man wants an independent woman for freedom and to be needed for power."

I've seen men's frustration with their partners disallowing them to play golf on Saturday, go to a party, or watch the football. While these men are probably pliable in other areas of their life and there's many potential relationship issues beneath the surface that cause the women to issue such orders, men generally hate when their freedom is stolen by a woman.

In dating, one of the greatest things a man dreads is his loss of freedom. Will I have to see her every weekend? Should I call several times a week? Must I sacrifice my interests to spend enough time with her?

A man wants to spend time with a lady he feels great around, but he wants it to be on his own terms. Know that men want a great woman in their life. If he's not committed to you or being around you, he doesn't have a problem. He most likely does not feel attraction.

Christian Carter, author of Catch Him and Keep Him, says a man wants to be needed to feel power. Carter then says he wants an independent women so he can uphold his freedom.

No man wants to feel isolated on a throne. He wants attention, to feel important, and powerful, but does not want to be viewed as requiring these. He wants an independent woman who doesn't need him every moment of her day. At the same time he wants to be needed and valued in her life.

Seductive women know how to make a man feel free and powerful. The secret there is for him to feel it. No catch-22 exists when you understand the freedom-attention dilemma.

Christian Carter, author of Catch Him and Keep Him, says a man wants to be needed to feel power. Carter then says he wants an independent woman so he can uphold his freedom.

No man wants to feel isolated on a throne. He wants attention, to feel important, and powerful, but does not want to be viewed as requiring these. He wants an independent woman who doesn't need him every moment of her day. At the same time he wants to be needed and valued in her life.

Seductive women know how to make a man feel free and powerful. The secret there is for him to feel it. No catch-22 exists when you understand the freedom-attention dilemma.

Here are three more traits mature men look for in women:

1.  Unpredictability
I definitely do not mean drama! Men hate drama. Unpredictability involves various actions and words often contradictory to the past that create intrigue. Go for a spontaneous country drive. Kiss then end it quickly. Aggressively want him then show distance. Become a little mysterious. Boredom kills human interest.

2. Good body language
Physical attractiveness is enhanced through better nonverbal communication. I love a woman who understands her posture, curves, and gestures! Patty Contenta is a former dancer and great body language teacher who shows women how to use their body with class to be attractive. Her techniques are simple, practical, and take seconds to learn. I highly recommend her book Sensuality Secrets to improve your feminine body language.

3. Void of insecurities
Nothing turns a man off faster than an insecurity according to Robert Greene in The Art of Seduction. Severe insecurities like indecisiveness, bitchiness over attractive women and past boyfriends, feelings of inferiority, and poor belief in one's seductiveness is the kryptonite of attraction. Insecurities originate from low self-esteem, a massive indication of low status. Show confidence in what you want with authoritative actions. Never second guess yourself. This is when aggression attracts men.

It is unnecessary to become everything taught in this article. Think of the outline given as the personification of traits to build in your life. The more you take on, the more your seductive prowess grows. Follow this advice that few women know and you'll be a woman men want.

(Here's three resources to further help you. I have a popular article on what women want in men, which spurred me to write what men want in women. Secondly, I've reviewed a book called Catch Him and Keep Him mentioned in this article that's great for women who want to attract and keep Mr Right. Lastly, I recommend you also get Patty Contenta's Sensuality Secrets.)

Extra Traits of an Attractive Woman

1. Do little things without expectation of receiving to show you care.

2. Don't put up with his secondary behavior or anyone else's. He'll respect you for it and you'll be happier. Men want to feel their best around women.

3. Be his best wing woman. Make him look good in front of his friends and boss.

4. You may be a head-turner, but your gray matter keeps men interested.

5. Be relaxed and you'll make others more relaxed.

6. Need help from him? Find non-controlling ways to get help.

About the Author

Joshua Uebergang, aka "Tower of Power", is a communication skills coach, author, and owner of Australian company Tower of Power. Visit his blog and sign-up free to get communication techniques, relationship-boosting strategies, and life-building tips by email, along with blog updates, and more! Go now to http://www.towerofpower.com.au/free

Source: www.towerofpower.com.au

By Joshua Uebergang aka "Tower of Power"