An Introduction from the Average Single Guy

You walk in; chest is out… you are ready to roll. You have a bit of a bounce in your step as you walk through the door giving the random ticket-lady at the door a courtesy nod of the head as your right-wrist gets smacked with some barely visible ink stamp.

It’s your mark. Your mark to show you have arrived. The air is heavy with smoke and tainted with cheap perfume. You set your eyes on your target. Its go time!

Who are you? You are one of millions of men the world over entering a club in hope of the elusive hook-up*. My name is Average Single Guy. I intend on taking you through the dos and don’ts with regards to hooking up with the opposite sex. Yes I am man and my articles will be written from the perspective of a man but I think many a women will be interested in my encounters, tips and advice as I take you through the journey that is: “THE HUNT”.

I am no pro when it comes to picking up “the ladies” but allow me to make the mistakes so you don’t have to.

What is the goal of The Hunt:

The goal is ultimately to hook-up with “the ladies”. Below I have set-out the five different types of hook-ups that one finds:

1)  The “trophy” hook-up*. Many a man has dreamt of hooking up with the “trophy”. But few have actually succeeded. You see the “Trophy” is that one girl in the club who for whatever reason seems god-like when compared to other girls. Her radiance seems to light the room up and for a couple of seconds the world stops when your eyes meet hers. These women are the ultimate prize. Bag yourself one of these beauties and your name will be etched in the annals of time.

2)  The “belter” hook-up*. Ok so I might use “numbers” assigned to the ladies and some people might well be offended. But please don’t. I think it is the easiest manner in which I can portray the hotness of the lady. So in this category we are looking at a 7-9. I will leave 10 for the “Trophy”. These ladies are hot. The kinds of ladies that make you choke a little when they are close-by. They make you sounds like a 5 year old with a speech-impediment when talking to them. A man with such a prime specimen at his side definitely deserves a couple of drinks from his mates.

3)  The “average” hook-up*. Here we have a solid 6 assigned to the lovely lady. Its the kind of girl you are not ashamed to show your mates but you won’t exactly be sending in pictures to FHM in hope of getting a shoot. These ladies are by no means ugly, but if you were to date one of these ladies you will forever be wondering if its time to let her free into the wild to embark on another big hunt!

4)  The “beer-goggle” hook-up*. Assigned the rating values of 4-5 these ladies can be made to look like a 6 and in some cases even a 7 when enough alcohol has been consumed. Now all of us have had a “beer-goggle” hook-up. We are not exactly proud of it but these things do happen. Its approaching the end of the night , you have had a couple of drinks (Ok maybe 10?) and the crowd is thinning-out. That random girl you thought was rather ugly earlier all of a sudden seems kind of sexy. You convince yourself that she is actually hot and go in for the kill. Be careful with such hook-ups. Do not be seen by your mates when attempting this as it could result in public ridicule in the future.

5)  The “Minger” hook-up*. Yes it sounds harsh but these ladies are assigned to the bottom of our ranking system. Hook-up with a minger and you know you have hit rock-bottom. Perhaps you have stumbled across this blog as it seems you have only been able to catch the rather common minger. Mingers don’t actually require any form of effort. They are not seen as true “game” and catching a minger is not in the true-spirit of “The Hunt”.

*(Hook-up: Picking up a girl does not have to include sexual acts, although you get 10 bonus points for any sexual acts!)

Although the article refers to clubs the same principles apply to any girl, anywhere, anytime. A minger is a minger if she is on the dance floor or walking her dog.

Now my goal will be to make the above-mentioned hook-ups (Well the top 3 anyway). The world will be my hunting ground. I will search the bars, parks, shopping malls and clubs in the name of The Hunt! I will take you through my failed and successful attempts, analyse what I did wrong and come up with a solid framework for hooking-up with the ladies.

The first hunt approaches. Whether successful or not I will come back with a detailed report.

Let’s hope that I don’t go hungry…

Happy Hunting!

Average Single Guy

Written by Average Single Guy for Citylifer.co.za